Revisiting Half-Life: Uplink

Photo: halflifeuplink.com

It's been over a decade since I last played Half-Life: Uplink and even then I didn't finish it. Times were different - I still remember being scared as hell in a dim lighted room, playing on old monitor and bad speakers. There's something that made the experience so terrifying for younger version of me. If I remember right this demo came on a CD with few other demos for games like Turok, Worms and maybe even Beyond Good & Evil, though I'm not really sure about the last one. Anyway, this game was my introduction to PC gaming and FPS genre in general. And to Half-Life, of course, which led me to the road I'm still walking on.

I think Uplink is still a great demo though it didn't have the same magic as it use to. But that's how nostalgy works in the end! It's still pretty challenging at the times (but that could be all because my HL skills are rusty) and atmosphere is what you'd expect from Half-life experience. Especially old-schools sounds made this revisit feel like coming home after a long, long journey - there's something special about those sound effects in original Half-Life. And the soda machine can still kill you!

I remember how scared I was of the first zombie you encounter because I had never in my life experienced anything like that. Now, as I'm older and played a lot of HL and zombie games in general, that spooky feeling wasn't unfortunately there anymore. I knew what to do and how to fight those things now too well. And that's sad in a way. There are only a few games that can give that brand new feeling of unknown, at least for me, and the fact that I'm pretty familiar with the engine and game making in general also has a big impact on how I approach games and enemies. 13-15 years ago I had no idea what I was doing on FPS games - now they are hardwired into my blood (hey, I'm using words!). 

And that's why I almost hope that I didn't revisit Uplink. I loved that hazy memory of my time with it. Is it ruined now or do I appreciate it more? We'll see.

Ps. I also recorded a gameplay video with my commentary while playing Uplink, but I don't know if that will ever become public. You'll just have to wait and see...

Why I Don't Play Horror Games

I love horror. Aesthetics, movies, books... you name it. But for some reason I really dislike horror games - not because they would be scary because I don't get scared of fiction easily but because they are kinda boring. Yes, person who would love to live in a world of continuous Halloween doesn't like spooky games.

I think it's a lot to do with how I enjoy my horror media. There's not really many scary movies that get me scared even a little bit because I know they're not true - for me the real horror comes from romantic comedies or scenes where there are social awkwardness. I just can't watch those moments in movies or series! But with horror I just want to see every single gory detail and hear all the fantastic sound effects. 

In games that doesn't work for me. I'm yet to find a horror game that would give me a spook. Half-Life: Uplink did a good job when I was young, but then again that was one of my first touches with the whole sci-fi and horror stuff. I replayed it a while ago and unfortunately the first zombie wasn't so scary anymore. But I remember the fear of unknown that made me scare as a teen. Why can't any other game do that?

I remember when Amnesia came out and everybody freaked out. I tried it and got bored at hiding in closets. That game was a disappointment. Outlast had an okay atmosphere but once again, gameplay loop was not for me. I tried some ''bad'' horror games like Granny and DreadOut, which both were not too interesting, though I got some good laughs. And Five Nights at Freddy's... That's one of the worst games I've ever tried. 

Yeah, I know that there's so many good and even great horror games in the world, but I can't make myself to even try them. Even though the story or atmosphere would be interesting the gameplay usually kills the fun for me. I want to shoot, not run! Or shoot and run. I think the best horror experiences I've got are from games like Fallout, where the real horror comes from knowing what might be waiting for you and you know that you're not ready to face it. And still you try to sneak and pickpocket that scary enemy. 

Resident Evil 2 is a game I would love to try if I can find it for my Playstation 2. It looks like a great hybrid between things I hate and love about horror media. But then again, after getting familiar with the gameplay loop and mechanics of the game is there any horror left when you know how to tackle it?

I know that I would enjoy exploring a abandoned places in VR, that would make me somewhat uneasy - and not only because of I have never used a real VR headset. The fact that you can't take your eyes out of the screen when scary thing are happening would keep the immersion and I would maybe even get some chills on my bones. Maybe. At least I can dream of that. But the truth is that I have no VR available and I don't even know if my head could take it, so... Yeah. 

Maybe I just need to take deep dive on itch.io and search for the most fucked up and disturbing games I can find - or just keep on playing Minecraft. On hardcore. Which I will not do because that creeps me out - I'm having troubles even on easy difficulty!

Oh. At least something makes me scared. Yay!